“Remove yourself from people who treat you like your time doesn’t matter, like your feelings are worthless, or like your soul is replaceable.” -S. Mcnutt
When Nikita called Manju at 2 a.m over phone, Manju was shocked hearing Nikita crying in pain and asking her to help. Sanjay, Nikita’s abusive husband is the reason. Being a relationship counsellor, Manju understood that Nikita is stuck in a toxic relationship.
A toxic relationship doesn’t always means physical abuse, but it can be purely psychological, mental and emotional torture also. Toxic relationship always gives some hint to you. You are not happy and fulfilled. You don’t feel good about the existing relationship anymore. Overall, you know there is definitely something very wrong.
What A Toxic Relationship Can Do To You?
- Kills you slowly
- Stops your growth
- Ends your self-esteem
- Disengages you from ‘You’
The most horrific thing is that you may not realize that you are no more ‘You’, and have become a living dead. There is no particular beginning or end of a toxic relationship.
What Is Meant By Toxic Relationship?
It is a relationship that contaminates your happiness, self-esteem and your perspective about yourself and the world. In general, a toxic individual will sail through life keeping a trail of broken people and relationships behind him. Again, in many instances, relationship starts quite healthily, but gets infested with bad history, negative feelings, and unfulfilled needs changing both the partners. Toxicity can affect even the strongest people destroying them completely.
Let’s Break Down The Signs That Says You Are In A Toxic Relationship
Sign 1: You Feel Bad All The Time
Do you wake up everyday feeling worst? Do you often sleep crying? Do you feel bad in the presence of your partner? Do you feel you don’t exist in his life anymore? If these feelings are nibbling you, then you are surely confined in a toxic relationship. If you continue to stay in it, your courage, strength and confidence will vanish gradually.
Sign 2: It Is Always Your Fault
Are you hearing every single day that you are always wrong? Is he constantly teasing you for the food you cook, the chores you perform, the job you do, and the way you look?
Every question or statement of him is a trap for you. For example, ‘You seems too comfortable with your manager, darling’, ‘It’s not worth telling you, Honey!’, ‘Wear anything to the party. Who cares?’.
No matter what, he is making you feel like a trash.
Sign 3: You Stopped Telling About Your Needs As There Is No Point
Every human has needs. We crave for love, validation, affection, appreciation, connection and sex. If your need is ignored at all costs, you must know that your relationship has become toxic. Again, every time you tell about your needs, your partner starts fighting with you. Eventually, you stop telling about your needs because you feel that it is totally pointless.
Sign 4: Zero Effort From Your Partner
A relationship exists with constant effort from both the partners. It’s never one-sided. When your partner shows no interest in making things work, be sure that the relationship has gone sour. When you discover that he is no more interested in talking to you, spending time or sharing things with you, and constantly making you feel ignored and cornered, then your relationship has already ended.
Sign 5: It Is You Who Is Compromising, Working And Loving Everytime
If in a relationship, only you are taking all the hurdles of maintaining it and getting exhausted with the acute feel of loneliness, then this is a toxic relationship.
Sign 6: Your ‘No’ Is Never Respected
In any relationship, both of you have the right to say ‘No’. But, if your ‘No’ is constantly overlooked making you compromise in every aspect, then the relationship is certainly toxic. If your partner is accepting you only when you are saying ‘Yes’ to his demands, then you should strike a big ‘No’ to that relationship.
Sign 7: His Passive Aggressive Behavior
He is always controlling and attacking you. The attacks are mostly indirect involving words like ‘Whatever’, ‘I am fine’, ‘I will stay at home. Ok? You have fun with your friends. Don’t worry about my feeling’. Most of the time, the notorious villain disguises as a hero and makes you the victim. He is manipulating you and using you as a doormat.
Other Signs Of A Toxic Relationship In One Sentence
- You are always feeling guilty no matter what.
- Outsiders are getting chance to divide and rule both of you and your other half.
- A combination of physical and verbal abuse by your partner without any guilt feeling.
- There is no solution to an argument or a fight.
- The focus is always on the other person and his needs and never on you sarcastically.
- You don’t have any privacy and you are always being monitored.
- Unlimited lies and cheating even after being caught.
- You are never a part in his decisions.
Now You Know That You Are In A Toxic Relationship. What Would You Do Now?
- Start keeping emotional distance.
- Recognize the patterns and the triggers for your safety.
- Be careful about what is all right and what isn’t.
- Don’t buy the manipulation, the little ‘sorry’, or the fake ‘I love you’.
- Give importance to your self-respect and self-esteem.
You Need Not To Settle For A Bad Relationship
Oprah has perfectly quoted, “Don’t settle for a relationship that won’t let you be yourself.”
Woman! You are the most important person for yourself and you owe yourself every good thing. Your relationship with the person you love may not work well and it’s absolutely okay to end it.
You are amazing. All your need is yourself to be happy.
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